5×16 Tested

Last night’s Glee was a weird one. And by ‘weird’ I mean not fun to watch with parents. Every season has an awkward episode and I think this was Season 5′s.  The episode had three topics: STDs, doing the deed, and weight issues. Overall, I didn’t love the episode. It wasn’t the best. I mean, they were relevant topics, to some extent, but they weren’t fun to watch. The music wasn’t anything amazing, either. So I have to give ‘Tested’ a 2 out of 5. Here’s what went down:

It starts weirdly, with a little fake commercial staring Blaine, Kurt, Sam and Artie dressed as old-timey sailors. The commercial is in black and white and advertises the importance of getting tested for STDs.

In a voice over, Blaine, for the five hundredth time, expresses his love for New York. But what he really loves is the awesome New York food. Yes, Blaine’s an eater and we see him enjoying a variety of food. But that comes at a price: Blaine’s getting ‘fat’….well, he’s got a tummy, you know? Also, his pants have split. So while Kurt is working out and keeping fit, Blaine’s stuffing his face with junk food. But really, Blaine is not fat.

Highchool Artie may not have been the definition of popular, but New York Artie is. Artie, also in a voice over, says that not only do people respect him at school, but he’s got girls. Three of them, actually. Vanessa, a redheaded girl, Jessica, a rocker chick with coloured hair, but Artie’s got eyes for a cute simple girl named Julie, with a bob cut. As Julie is doing a test narration for Artie’s film, Artie sings ‘Addicted To Love’ and in it we see him and the other two girls having fun on dates. Who would have thought that little adorable Artie with only 10 Facebook friends would move to NYC and be a player. :P After the song, which is all in his head, he asks out Julie, but she says that she doesn’t want to date anyone she’s working with.

 

Kurt and Blaine are in Combat Class (yes, it’s a real class apparently….or maybe it’s just a special week long training thing IDK.. either way there is gladiator equipment and it looks cool). While Kurt is all muscles and fit bod, Blaine is at the side of the room literally stuffing his face with Cheetos. Blaine recognizes that he’s jealous of Kurt’s new strength considering Kurt used to be the delicate one in highschool and Blaine was the fight club boxer guy. The winds of change have sure blown.

At Mercedes’ place, she and Sam are making out and as things get heated, she decides that now is the perfect time to have The Talk. While we all know that Sam lost the V-card during his time as a stripper, but Mercedes hasn’t. And she tells Sam that she’s not ready to just yet. Sam says that it’s okay and they’ll go at her pace, but he doesn’t look pleased with this.

Mercedes decision to wait a bit prompts Sam to bring up the topic of STDs with the guys, as they all have dessert at a café thing. The guys all support him and agree to take the test too, just because. Also on this date thing, Blaine orders Kurt a really yummy looking frozen hot chocolate thing. So instead of trying to cut his eating habit, Blaine has decided to try to get Kurt fatter too. Not a good move, Blainers.

Though we don’t see the guys take the STD test, we do find out that they’re all clear….except Artie. The doctor calls him in again and says that he has chlamydia. It’s treatable, but Artie is shocked. At the loft, he tells the guys and they’re pretty shocked too. Most upset about it is Sam. He starts calling out Artie for getting it, but clearly Sam’s past as a freaking stripper isn’t coming to mind. At least Artie knew the girls he was with. Remember in S4 when Ryder told ND his secret and Sam laughed it off? Well, this is like that and my tolerance for Sam at this point was low. Sam was just bugging me all episode. Kurt said that Artie needs to at least tell the girl he’s been with, but Artie lets it slip that there is more than one girl, and furthermore, he isn’t ever using a condom, which is another bad move on his part. :/

But Artie mans up and tells the girls the next day at school. Vanessa flips out and gets really mad and technically breaks up with him. In contrast to her reaction, Jessica is totally chill with it and takes it perfectly fine, which is kind of amusing. Just then, Julie comes up and tells Artie that she’s thought about it and has decided that she wants to go out with him. Artie tries to be happy, but it’s clear he isn’t.

Samcedes are all dressed up and are at a church. Before they go in, Sam shows Mercedes the paper that says he’s free from all STDs, because in Sam’s warped mind, he thinks that’ll lead to the two of them doing the deed. So Mercedes, during the mass, sings ‘I Wanna Know What Love Is’ and she sings it directly to Sam, to show that there’s more to love than that. The song works well with the plot, and Mercedes sings it awesomely. :)

In another Combat Class, Kurt is so confident in his body that he goes as far to take off his shirt. But he knows that his confidence may be taking a toll on Blaine, who is stressed out a bit because of a new school and new city and new life (though we as viewers haven’t seen any stress…?). Later that night, Kurt suggests that he and Blaine go out on a date: dinner and a movie. Blaine says he’s already making dinner, and when he tells Kurt what it is, Kurt says it’s a lot of food. Kurt suggests a lighter option, and Blaine agrees. But when Kurt grabs Blaine’s laptop to check movie times, he’s rather surprised to see what the first screen is. Porn. Kurt gets flustered and asks Blaine about it, but Blaine’s can’t really provide a good explanation and frankly, Kurt doesn’t want to hear anything, so Kurt just leaves.

At the loft, Mercedes and Rachel are talking. Mercedes take their moment alone to ask Rachel about her first time with Finn. Mercedes expresses her worries about doing it with Sam, who’s experienced, and wonders if she’s ready. Rachel says that no one knows when they’re totally 100% ready, but she is sure that Sam’s a good guy and when and if Mercedes decides she’s ready, it’ll be okay. Kind of ironic that Rachel is now dishing advice on this when she had to ask all the ND girls the same question back in S3.

In class again, Kurt and Blaine still aren’t on great terms. Blaine tries to talk about it (jeeze, Blaine, stop trying to talk to Kurt in the middle of class) but Kurt doesn’t want to talk. Instead, in true Glee spirit, they sing. Pat Benatar’s ‘Love Is A Battlefield’ is the song, and it was interesting to see them sing and play around with shields and sword things. An interesting song for them, as it’s like nothing they’ve sang together before, but it wasn’t bad at all. As the song ends, they begin fencing against each other and Blaine starts going at it too fiercely, so Kurt ups his game too, and wins, which angers Blaine.

At the diner, Kurt is working, but this scene is about Samcedes and Artie/Julie. Sam and Mercedes are on a date but Sam seems to be going out of his way to make the night special. Mercedes tries to make sure that he’s not doing it to try to get a little something-something later on, but he insists it isn’t. He says he just wants to show her how much he loves her by any means how. Jump over to Artie and Julie, who are also on a date. Artie is still paranoid about the chlamydia thing and starts hearing everything as STD related terms, which is kind of amusing but kind of cliché as well. Finally, his paranoia takes over and he tells Julie that under no circumstances can they hook up in the next 10 days. But this is their first date, and a statement like that kind of creeps Julie out. That leads to Artie and Mercedes singing ‘Lets Wait Awhile’ outside as the couples walk around. Not the best song of the episode, but it works with the plot.

Later on, or the next day, Mercedes is at the church praying. Jump over a few hours to when she and Sam are making out again. Again it gets heated and this time, when Mercedes stops it, she’s come to a decision. She’s decided to wait until marriage. I’m glad that at least one character on Glee is doing that, because so far, no one has. Mercedes explains that she’s sure of this choice and it’ll make her feel right. Good for you, Mercedes! And when a good boyfriend should be supportive about this, Sam is not. He is not happy with this because he knows that they won’t be married any time soon. He asks for some time to think it over. What’s to think over Sam? Are you going to dump her for that? Don’t you love her? This is another example of how Sam was annoying me in the episode.

As for Klaine, they have some stuff to deal with. Kurt arrives at the loft and finds a sad Blaine. Blaine explains that there’s essentially been a shift in power. He loved being the hero for Kurt when Kurt first came to Dalton and needed help with bullies, but now Kurt is fine on his own and Blaine’s useless. What’s more is that he feels insecure and fears that one day, Kurt’ll change so much that he won’t love Blaine anymore. The anger is gone from Kurt’s eyes now and although Kurt says he’s not sorry for being delicate anymore, he says that he’ll never judge or stop loving Blaine. They hug and Blaine cries into his shoulder. Okay, I have mixed feelings about this. As much as I don’t want to minimize eating disorders or insecurities or stuff like that, I do think that Blaine is being a bit silly. I mean, is he really upset that Kurt isn’t weak anymore? And if he is, is eating going to help that? Blaine trying to secretly fatten up Kurt isn’t going to solve the problem. What Blaine needs is self control and a workout routine. IDK, I just feel like this was just a silly storyline for them…..

Artie decides to tell Julie the truth about his chlamydia and why he was acting to odd on their date. He tells her who the other two girls were as well. And that’s what seals the deal for Julie. She isn’t mad about the chlamydia, she’s mad that he slept with Vanessa and Jessica because apparently, those two girls are incredibly stupid. Julie is so upset by this that she says that Artie basically lost his chance with her. Unfortunate really, because Julie seemed nice and not too weird. Oh, and I guess Artie and Kitty are really over. That was never addressed at all, sadly. I should have been.

Well, Sam’s done some thinking and has come up with his decision about Mercedes. He sets up all these pretty candles for when she comes home, and when she does, he has this really nice speech ready about how although doing the deed is awesome, he can live without it, but he can’t live without her. Then they kiss. This is the once instance in the episode where Sam doesn’t annoy me. He made the right choice in my opinion. :) Long live Samcedes!

Later, Mercedes and Rachel are talking again. Rachel’s taken the backseat in this episode, but she gets the focus in this scene. Mercedes asks if Rachel is ever going to date again. Mercedes thinks she should try at least, as there are plenty of nice guys in New York. Rachel doesn’t seem too up for it, and naturally so. I’m glad Finn is being mentioned again, and I’m glad that Rachel’s friends are still trying to help her out. Rachel says she’ll try dating again when she’s ready, she just isn’t right then. I wrote a post about Rachel’s future love life a while back, that you should read if you haven’t! I’m just glad to see Mercedes being such a good friend. <3

The last scene is the guys having another dude’s date thing. Blaine is on a new healthy diet, which is great, and Kurt is totally supportive. As for Artie, he says that he understands what Julie felt when he told her and he’s decided to lay off the girl game for a while. The episode ends with Sam suggesting they start a NYC abstinence club, but everyone else totally disagreeing with the idea. XD

Overall, the episode was weak. It was preachy and not about topics that I think were the best. I mean, Blaine should not have body issues. What brought this on, I’d really like to know. And while Sam and Mercedes conversations were needed, were they really needed one episode after they officially started dating? Furthermore, Sam really annoyed me for most of the episode. Him getting mad at Artie wasn’t going to get rid of the chlamydia. And pressuring Mercedes wasn’t going to get him what he wants. IDK what was going on in Sam’s mind, but I didn’t like it. But I still do like Sam as a character, don’t get me wrong. Just not this episode…. So far, the New York episodes have been getting worse, in my opinion, so I hope that turns around.

Next week is episode 5×17. It’s called ‘Opening Night’…any guesses as to why? If you guessed Funny Girl, then you’re right! It’s time for Rachel’s big Broadway debut! Here’s the promo:
Some old friends are back! Will, Sue, Tina and Santana are all back to support Rachel…well, I don’t think Sue will do much supporting, but that’s Sue. Oh, it looks like Diva Rachel will be back. I really don’t want to see that, but I suppose it’s somewhat more understandable now. I hope this episode is good and I hope that Rachel’s show is great. The last thing she needs is a flop show.

So what do you think? Did you like ‘Tested’? Did you find the episode as useless as I found it? Tell meeeee!

That’s all Gleeks! Have a good day! :D

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Test Out These ‘Tested’ Songs!

Well, you might have heard that these songs came out yesterday. But I didn’t want to post them before my episode recap of ‘Bash’ and I didn’t want to post two posts in one night, so I held off this one until today. Don’t hate me. Because I love you.

Why these songs are out so early is a mystery. I swear, people just like to annoy the heck out of multi-tasking bloggers who respect and love schedules. Anyways, there are only four songs this episode, which is called ‘Tested’. They’re not the best in my opinion, but, take a listen.

‘Love Is A Battlefield’ (by Pat Benetar) sung by Blaine and Kurt
Not my fave Klaine duet at all. But it’s a new genre for them, so it’s interesting. I don’t like how it’s not a happy romantic song, but they sing it in class as they act like gladiators or something, so it’ll make sense.

‘Addicted To Love’ (by Robert Palmer) sung by Artie
Artie solo! I guess this song explains how Artie got an STD. Not Artie’s best solo, but it’s good. And it works perfectly with the storyline.

‘I Wanna Know What Love Is’ (by Foreigner) sung by Mercedes
Another Mercedes solo! Now this is why I like having Mercedes back! Because we get smash songs all the time! And this one by a rock band, which is new for her! Is this to/about Sam? Because I do think that he can show you what true love is.

‘Let’s Wait Awhile’ (by Janet Jackson) sung by Mercedes and Artie
I don’t think we’ve ever had a duet from Artie and Mercedes. And that’s interesting because they’re both originals! As for this song, not the best. It doesn’t showcase Mercedes’ fabulous voice, and it’s a little boring for me, but it’s sweet…provided that Martie or Artcedes doesn’t become a thing because I can’t picture them as a couple…. *shudders*

Those are the songs from 5×16 ‘Tested’. My favourite would have to be ‘Love Is a Battlefield’ but I don’t LOOOOVE it. This isn’t a lot of songs, as far as Glee goes so we’ll have a lot of time for plot. Hopefully it’ll be good. :D Happy Thursday!

5×15 Bash

Hello! Welcome to the recap of last night’s episode of Glee called ‘Bash’. This episode had some interesting plots, some crazy plot twists and it even had some sad parts. While I don’t think the episode was a good as last week’s episode, it was decent. And you know, every song can’t be a hit just like every episode can’t be the best. Speaking of songs, the songs in 5×15 ‘Bash’ weren’t amazing, but were decent and tied to the plot nicely. Overall, I give ‘Bash’ a 3 out of 5. Here’s what happened:

It starts with Rachel, Kurt, Sam and Blaine on the streets of New York, holding candles and singing ‘No One Is Alone’ somberly. They’re at a memorial for a guy who looks a lot like Finn (but is not). The song is super chilling and sad. There are many people there, all putting flowers and candles down at the spot of the memorial. The scene ends there, so we don’t know how our gang knew the dude or if he’s dead or what. I wish that was explained more there.

Over on the Broadway scene, the Funny Girl producer is telling the cast that they need to be perfect and produce a hit here. As they begin to rehearse again, Rachel finds the producer and asks for a day off to go perform the NYADA Midwinter Critique, which every student is required to do. The producer isn’t thrilled with the idea, but Rachel convinces him that it’s just one day and as soon as it’s over, she’ll be right back to rehearsals. I guess the Midwinter Critique is not like the Winter Showcase, which is by invitation only. I do like how they mentioned Midwinter though, because it gives us a good estimate as to how large the time jump was.

So life at Mercedes’ place is going good for Sam. We see him eating a large mixture of cereal and watching TV late at night. Mercedes comes down and watches TV with him. They get to talking and Sam asks why she dumped him so long ago. He still feels the chemistry between them. Mercedes says no and doesn’t seem interested in discussing the past with Sam, but then, 0.5 seconds later, they’re making out. Not even joking. ;)

The next day, the whole gang is at the loft and we finally find out who’s memorial that was at the start. It was a dude named Russ, who was a friend of the neighbors. Apparently, he was gay bashed and was sent to the hospital in critical condition. The subject quickly turns to the Midwinter Critique and the NYADA students of the group express their excitement for the theme: Sondheim.

Outside later, Sam and Mercedes are on a date type thing. Well, Sam hopes it’s a date but Mercedes still is on the fence. So Sam throws a bunch of pennies in the river and wishes for Mercedes to date him. They joke around and eventually, Mercedes says that if they are going to date, they have to go slow. So it’s official, then. Samcedes is a thing. Sam ends up leaving and Mercedes sings ‘You Make Me Feel (Like A Natural Woman)’. A fab display of Mercedes’ vocals, but not her best. The song is kind of ironic because two minutes before she sang it, Sam convinced Mercedes to ditch her fur coat because the image of an animal killer, though the fur was fake, isn’t a good one.

It looks like Kurt isn’t the only one with new New York friends. Mercedes has two as well, but they’re also her backup singers. The three gals are eating and just as the other girls are saying that Mercedes dating Sam again is the wrong move, Sam comes over. Sam starts doing as Sam does: impressions and weird questions and more. The girls are not impressed, but Sam is blissfully unaware of how embarrassing he is to Mercedes.

For the Midwinter Critique, Rachel and Blaine decide to duet. They sing ‘Broadway Baby’ and it’s adorable. Blaine and Rachel together singing in fancy clothes is just plain adorable.

The song isn’t the best, but it’s catchy. I don’t mind it. But who does mind it is Carmen Tibideaux. She says that although they sang it well, the assignment wasn’t a duet. She considers flunking them both, but decides to give them both another chance because after all, they did sing it well. And while Blaine is fine with a new date, Rachel is not because she can’t get another day off from rehearsals. Rachel goes to talk to Carmen and asks for a different date that she can make, but Carmen refuses to move it. Carmen says that Rachel thinks she’s all that, but she’s not doing well in classes. Rachel is very upset now and when Carmen goes on to say that she takes NYADA for granted in a way, Rachel decides to quit. Yup, Rachel quit NYADA, her dream school, to star in Funny Girl. Who saw that coming? I sure didn’t.

Again Mercedes’ backup singers tell her that they don’t like Sam. They say he’s too white and that’s not a good image for her, a strong black woman, to have. Mercedes tells them that she doesn’t care for their opinions, but her face betrays her. So much so that she goes home and finds Sam and says they can’t be together. Sam asks if it’s because he’s white and she’s black. And Mercedes doesn’t deny it. Points for honesty, I guess. Sam says that she’s not acting like the Mercedes he knows and that in Glee club, race didn’t matter. But for now, Samcedes is over. :(

Rachel, now free from the harsh bonds of NYADA, goes and meets Kurt at a restaurant. Rachel expects Kurt to be totally supportive of her decision, but he isn’t. Not that I blame him. I mean, he didn’t even make it in to NYADA the first try, and she did, but she gave it up. Of course he think’s she’s wrong. Rachel tries to defend herself to Kurt, saying that she has the chance of a lifetime and he’s not supporting her, but Kurt says she’s giving up something great. In a huff, Rachel says that Kurt is just afraid to be brave and take risks, then storms out. Kurt, now alone, pays for his meal and leaves. Outside, he’s walking home when he sees two guys beating another guy up. Kurt hurries over and tries to get the guys to stop and thinks that at least now it’s two against two, but the victim runs off as soon as he can, leaving the thugs with Kurt. And they beat Kurt up. There’s a brick involved. Then they drive off, leaving Kurt lying on the ground unconscious. Dang. I didn’t cry, maybe because I knew this was going to happen, but it was still shocking. I mean, after all Kurt’s been through, he now has to deal with this. :( :( :(

At the loft, Sam is venting to Blaine about Mercedes when Blaine gets a phone call. We don’t hear anything, but we get to see the sad, shocked look on Blaine’s face. We obviously know who’s calling. We also see Mercedes get a call from Sam, and Rachel and Artie get a call from Mercedes. They all meet at the hospital, where they’re waiting to see Kurt. The doctor finally comes out and tells Blaine that Kurt is unconscious and cut up, but okay. They’re all sitting by Kurt’s bed, watching him with sad faces. Rachel takes some of the blame, knowing that if she hadn’t have been a diva and left the restaurant, Kurt wouldn’t have run into the thugs alone. Blaine starts singing ‘Not While I’m Around’ and everyone else leaves. Though the audio on iTunes of the song has Sam, Rachel and Mercedes also singing, the version we see on TV is just a heartbroken Blaine. We cut to Blaine, singing the same song for his solo Midwinter Critique. He looks just as sad. Back at Kurt’s bedside, Blaine finishes the song and climbs on the bed next to Kurt. IT’S SAD. Poor Blaine, you know? I mean, think about it. Since Blaine danced into Kurt’s life, he’s been there to protect and support Kurt. Protection from Karofsky in early S2 and support with the Prom fiasco in late S2 and protection from the rock-salt slushie in S3 and support about going to NYC in S4. And now, he can’t help Kurt. Oh, my Klaine heart is having feels. :(

 

By invitation, Sam goes to visit the recording studio where Mercedes is about to record some magic. She tells Sam that he was right, and using race is an awful excuse not to date him. She doesn’t care what others think of them. To prove it, she sings and records ‘Colour Blind’ by Amber Riley herself. The song has nothing to do with the Samcedes issue, save the title, but that’s clever enough. And I think this is the best song of the episode. So pretty. Just as the song ends, Sam goes into the recording booth and hugs her. <3 I ship them, have I mentioned that?

Kurt’s still in the hospital, but is now awake and healing. He has a new visitor now, and an important one: his dad. Yes, Burt comes to see him. At first Burt is mad at Kurt for being to reckless and getting in the fight instead of calling the cops or getting help. But Kurt says he’s not regretting that and he is fine. Knowing that Kurt is technically right, Burt calms down and says that next time, Kurt should avoid the physical stuff unless Burt is there to fight alongside him. Burt Hummel, you are the best dad ever. That is a fact.

When Kurt is finally let out of the hospital, he and Blaine go down to Russ’ memorial site again and Kurt lays another flower. As the two of them stand there and probably secretly thank the universe for not letting it be Kurt’s memorial that they’re at, Blaine says that he heard that Russ woke up from the coma and will be okay.

Later, in the loft, Rachel goes to talk to Kurt. She starts by saying that her decision about NYADA is final, but no matter what, Kurt is still her best friend and she loves him. She also says that recent events have proved her wrong: Kurt is brave and she admires that about him. Just as Kurt says that she’s his best friend too, the gang comes in for dinner. Sam and Mercedes say that they are officially dating and prove it with a kiss. <3 Rachel announces that Kurt’s Midwinter Critique is the next day and they should all go support him. And they do, because we next see Kurt singing ‘I’m Still Here’ at NYADA. He sings it wonderfully, of course. And everyone, including Burt, are there watching him. After the song, they all go hug him and it’s beautiful. The end.

This episode was interesting because though I found the plot lines not the best, I think they are important. I mean, for Rachel, the question of how she’s managing NYADA, Funny Girl, her job and more has come up. So with NYADA out, it’s a bit more realistic. I kind of side with Kurt on the fact that giving it up is maybe a bad idea. NYADA is great and she could learn a lot, and it was everything she wanted in S3, but I guess Rachel can handle herself and if she knows deep in her heart that quitting school is what she needs to do, then so be it. As for Kurt’s plot line, I think that was a very interesting one. Glee has made New York City out to be a safe haven where they can run wild and express themselves and be happy in this magical place (jk Tahiti is a magical place XD), but the truth is, New York is not. I have never been there (I’m going later this year though!) so maybe trusting me on this isn’t the best, but just ask anyone. For once, Glee is being realistic about the place and I’m pleased, even if it came at poor Kurt’s expense. I once heard that when Madonna moved to New York City, she was attacked on a rooftop…. Anyways, the music this episode was okay. I’m not a huge fan, but I think some people were.

Next week is called ‘Tested’ because the boys all get tested for STDs. Here’s the promo:

So there’s Klaine in class doing some interesting choreography. Dang, Kurt, them muscles! *o* And also a nice view of Blaine’s booty. But do I really have to watch Blaine think he’s fat? I mean, look at him! I have books thicker than Blaine’s torso…..(Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix). What does Artie have to tell someone? That he has an STD, perhaps? Yes, that is the answer. And look, there’s Artie about to get into bed with someone. Who is that? Surely not Kitty (are they still a thing? Nah prolly not…). Eh, this episode looks kind of silly, but oh well. :S

What do you think? Was ‘Bash’ a great episode? Did you cry? Does ‘Tested’ look good? Tell me! And that’s all for now, Gleeks!

Hail Hydra… haha just kidding, I would never. But did anyone see SHIELD last night? Pretty craaazy, eh? ;)
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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