When I first heard that there’d be a Glee Christmas episode this year, I was super excited because I love Christmas and I love Glee and the two mixing are usually fab. But as more details of this episode emerged, it was clear that the episode would do nothing but confuse us as it wasn’t set in S5 and therefore would have no plot progression. Anyways, last night this episode, 5×08, aired and like expected, it was just a mess. If you’re still confused as to what this episode was set to be, listen here: it’s an alternate S4 Christmas episode (‘Glee, Actually’) that’s airing in S5 as what I think is just audience pandering. They know we like Christmas episode so they gave us one to make up for the fact that they’ve been screwing with the timeline in S5 (it’s around April/May in Glee time). Anyways, ‘Previously Unaired Christmas’ should have stayed unaired because I was not a fan. I really liked ‘Glee, Actually’ and to see Glee take back it all and give us such a weird plot was just wrong. However, if the episode’s goal was just to be a joke, then maybe we could look a bit more favourably on it…maybe. But I don’t think it was meant to be a joke. I think they were to give us an alternate episode and that they did because everything was alternate, from plots to character attitudes. I give the episode a 2.5 out of 5. As much as the episode had a crazy plot and less-than-satisfactory music, there were some funny parts and at the end of the day, it is a Glee Christmas episode after all. Here’s what happened:
It starts off with an explanation from Jane Lynch (who plays Sue). Jane tells us that this episode was written last year but it was so inappropriate and gross that it was locked away and ‘Glee, Actually’ was made instead. But apparently, fans were begging for the locked episode and now we’re getting it. Though that is a blatant lie, at least some confusion was hopefully lifted for those who don’t read this blog.
It starts will ND in the choir room. Sam and Tina have been elected in charge of ND’s entry for the annual Christmas Tree Decorating Contest (that hasn’t happened for the past 3 years). The theme is green (meaning eco-friendly). Tina is dead-set on winning because the prize is some lucky angel or something. She’s just being crazy Tina again, which gets ND kind of riled up.
McKinley also has a Christmas club, comprised pretty much solely by Glee members. In this club, Coach Beiste announces that the plastic Nativity scene was trashed and vandalised, so the club will be putting on a live Nativity. Jake will be Joseph, but the girls fight over the role of Mary.
Over in New York, instead of having Blaine and Burt visit like in ‘Glee, Actually’, Santana comes. She and Kurt talk, both expressing woes about being broken up. Santana says she came to NYC for a chance in scenery for the holidays and because she doesn’t know what to do with her life (remember: she’s still as Louisville University as a cheerleader). Rachel comes in and is thrilled to see Santana. She also announces that she got jobs for herself and Kurt, and Santana too if she wants, as elves at a mall.
Sam and Tina are discussing their plans for the eco-tree in the hall. I must say, it’s nice to see them as friends without Blaine. Anyways, over comes Becky, wearing what’s supposed to be mistletoe on her head. She demands that both Sam and Tina make out with her. Tina and Sam then call her out, saying that she’s acting very inappropriate and she’s abusing her preferential treatment from Sue. That is true. Sue comes over and sends Becky away, then admits that she does treat Becky differently when she probably shouldn’t. Then she tells the two that she’s in charge of judging the Tree contest and looks forward to seeing ND’s failure.
At the mall, Kurt, Rachel and Santana are dressed up as elves. There’s a big crowd gathered and they’re starting to get rowdy. The Santa finally comes, but he is a rude old drunk and eventually ditches to go drink some more. As the crowd gets even more rowdier, Kurtcheltana starts to entertain them all by singing ‘Here Comes Santa Claus’ and dancing around. It’s a cute song and I love hearing the three of them sing together. It’s also a good song for the situation, though slightly ironic as the Santa had just left. However, them kids just didn’t appreciate that music because they throw food and cups and trash at them. Aww…
Because this is set in S4, Kitty and Marley are still moral enemies. Marley, in an attempt to be sweet, suggests that all the girls audition for the role of Mary together. Kitty turns that idea down and says that she doesn’t do nice.
Since the whole elf job isn’t turning out well, Santana ditched and was chilling in a bath when Kurt and Rachel call her in a panic. They say they need to back and she has to play Mrs. Claus. Santana isn’t thrilled with the idea, but the crowd gathered is getting madder.
In the choir room, ND is decorating the tree and the room. They’re also singing ‘Rocking Around The Christmas Tree’, which is my favourite song of the episode. Seeing ND all happy and Christmassy is so sweet. After they’re done, they step back and look at the tree, which is trimmed to perfection.
So with no Santa, Kurt and Rachel try to please the people with Mrs. Claus, but I think they should have called her Santa(na) because out comes Santana dressed as Santa, a rather pretty, male pleasing Santa. She sits down on Santa’s chair and we see her in a montage talking to kids. This is one of my fave bits of the episode because as one can imagine, Santana doesn’t work well with little hopeful kids. It was hilarious.
It’s judging time and as Sue comes in to look at their tree, ND starts humming collectively. Yes, ND, because Sue just looooves to hear y’all make music. That’ll help win for sure. Anyways, Sue asks Sam and Tina a bunch of questions and they answer them all correctly to prove that they’re the best. In the end, Sue begrudgingly admits that ND’s tree is the best and she’ll announce them as the winners the next day. Congrats, ND!
Without Kitty, the girls (Tina, Marley and Unique) audition for Mary together. The judges for this are Artie, Beiste and Mr. Schue. They get on stage and sing ‘Mary’s Boy Child’, but they do it all jazzed up and it looks like an ABBA song. Either way, it doesn’t really show off their Mary skills at all. Kitty seems to understand this because after the song, she gets up and just leaves.
Mrs. Claus didn’t help the situation at all and now the crowd is super mad. They’re about ready to quit when this dude comes down the escalator. Not just any dude, a shirtless hot young dude dressed as Santa. His name is….
Cody offers to help them, and at first they all say no, but they’re lured in by those nice abs and agree. Cody says that he wants to get to know them all better, so he invites himself over to their place for dinner.
In the hall, Marley finds out that she got the role of Mary. That was rather obvious because the other two choices were black Mary or Asian Mary. Kitty comes up and says that Marley didn’t deserve it because she doesn’t understand what Mary’s about. Kitty is a Christian, but she admits that even she doesn’t deserve the coveted role herself. Woah, is Kitty being humble? Wow.
So Cody comes over for dinner. He’s still wearing the Santa outfit and has a bag of who-knows-what with him. Cody seems like a nice enough dude and expresses his admiration for the apartment. Kurt, the whole time, is totally flirting, which is weird because Kurt wasn’t ever that obvious with Blaine way back at Dalton. Then he asks how they all met, which brings them on the topic of Glee and singing. Cody seemed interested in singing and asks if they take requests. From his big bag of fun, he pulls out balloons and a helium tank. After Rachel, Santana and Kurt inhale that stuff, they, with their voices all squeaky, sing ‘The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late)’. Yeah, I didn’t love this much at all. It was just dumb and I still don’t think it was their voices used.
Tina is a winner now, yay for her. She and Sam are walking in the hall, happy with their win, when they meet with Becky. She hands them both a small gift box, both containing her own baby teeth. It’s apparently a symbol of innocence and love. Becky then admits that she feels like ND used to: losers. She was entered in the contest too, and we see her entry which is a pile of literally green coloured junk, so she’s upset about her loss. Yes, well, poor Becky, for once she’s not number one. That’s how the Glee club is like 98% of the time and they’re dealing just fine.
Over in NYC, Rachel and Santana are getting drunk on eggnog. They’re on the couch joking about living together and how cool that’d be. Then they realize that Kurt and Cody aren’t there and they get up. Kurt is found in his room, MAKING OUT WITH CODY. Before you Klainers go ballistic, remember that this is set in S4 when Kurt is broken up. Santana and Rachel are super creeped out, but Kurt says that even Santana thinks he should live a little. My problem with this scene here is that it’s so crazy. Not only would Klainers KILL to get some action like that between Kurt and Blaine, but two episodes ago when Blaine was there with Kurt, all they did was hug and there’s a running joke that Glee or Fox hates gays, which is why we’re denied any mature Klaine action. I mean, Cody was shirtless but when Kurt and Blaine did the deed back in S3, both were fully clothed for what we saw. Also, another problem I have with this is that Kurt has known this guy for a few hours at most. This is Baby Penguin ’A Touch Of The Fingertips Is As Sexy As It Gets’ Kurt, remember? Nah, this was just too weird.
Later on, we see Rachel and Santana waking up and being totally hungover. As they get up and look around, they notice that they’ve been robbed. All their things are gone. As they suspect Cody, they hurry to find Kurt. And you won’t believe where he’s found. He’s found in his room, wearing little to no clothing, bound up on his bed with tinsel. As the girls untie him, he says that he and Cody were getting….frisky the night before, but Kurt had put a stop to some….ideas so Cody tied him up, admitted he’s only there to rob them all, does so and leaves. I would begin to go over how so wrong that bit is, but I think it speaks for itself, am I right?
As the Christmas Club sets up their Nativity, Marley shares with the group how genuine Kitty was being about the role of Mary. They all agree that if Kitty could channel that inner goodness and humbleness, she’d be a great Mary. Sam and Tina also say that they’re gonna give their coveted angel to Becky and they have something else to give her….prolly regarding the Nativity. The next thing we see is Beiste and Will and Kitty watching the prep of the Nativity. And what happens is not like I’ve ever seen it. Mary is played by Unique and instead of acting it out like normal, they sing ‘Love Child’, which isn’t a Christmas song BTW, but it’s hilarious because they turn the Nativity into a BET award show performance….like literally, they had a black bedazzled Jesus. As a Christian myself, I can see how something like that would be considered kind of rude, but I found it hilarious. I mean, we’ve all seen a bajillion Nativity scenes, for me it was at the many children’s Christmas concerts at school, so to see it changed up yet still getting the idea across was fine by me. It wasn’t fine by Kitty. She had faces of complete disgust and shock through the whole thing. When ND finished, Kitty says that they did that so, so wrong and are ruining the most beautiful story ever. So to make it right, she volunteers to play Mary. That was ND’s plan all along so they give her the part right away.
Back in New York, Kurt and Santana are talking about how awful Cody’s stealing was. Kurt makes Santana promise to never tell anyone, especially Blaine, about what happened. Then Rachel comes home and says that apparently, Cody stole from the mall too, so their jobs as elves are done. But then Rachel says she got a new job, one that wouldn’t end badly….
Sam and Tina then go find Becky and tell her that they did a recount and she actually won the tree contest. They give her the angel, which she is so thrilled about. Then they ask her to help with their Nativity. She agrees.
ND are really ready to do the Nativity now. Kitty is dressed as Mary and everyone is ready to go. Becky comes in, dressed Jesus in the manger…hahaha, that was really clever. While doing the Nativity, ND sings ‘Away In A Manger’. We also see Kurt, Rachel and Santana as models in a store window, also singing. Classy.
And that’s it. The episode ends with that song. A happy ending for a rather sucky episode. Though I know that some people did like it, I did not. They basically changed everything around and made it all kinds weird. I mean the Cody thing was rather gross. I know that Glee was just trying to make us happy by giving us a Christmas episode, but I would have rathered something plot-progressing and not just a joke. Because that was what the episode was: a joke. I mean, why did they have to set it in S4? S4′s Christmas episode was good. And anyways, if it was set back then, WHERE WAS BRITTANY? All in all, I’m rather disappointed in the episode. And it sucks that that’s what we have to live on until February 25th when Glee comes back. But what did you guys think? Did you like the episode or not? Tell me!
It’s too soon for a promo, but 5×09 is called ‘Frenemies’.
Here’s some good news though: for Glee’s 100th episode, all the originals were invited back and they ALL accepted! Amber, Mark, Harry, Dianna, Heather and even Kristen Chenoweth! Ahhhhh I can’t wait for that!
Well, that’s all for now! I’ll see ya around! Don’t worry, I’ll be here always during the hiatus so come chat! <3 Bye!